My goal in life, in a nutshell...

So last night, I was talking to a friend about what I want to "be when I grow up." We didn't put it in those words, but that's really what it was. And all I could think of was that I really really really just want to be a mom.

That probably sounds kinda weird coming from a 17-year-old, especially in today's society. I mean, these days, it's all about women having their own jobs and supporting themselves, and a lot of the time, stay at home moms aren't held all that highly on the scale. Honestly, I think I look up to them more. They have to work every bit as hard, just in a different setting, different ways, and all that stuff.

Thankfully, I have my very good friend and Twinny Winny, Katie. She and I are so much alike (hence the fact that she's my Twinny Winny). We already knew that, but then at camp this past week, we found out so many more things. It's actually scary how alike we are. Anyway, we both share the desire to just get married and have families and be moms. I am looking forward so much to getting married. I am more excited about it than a lot of other people I've talked to about it. And it's not just for the "perks" of it or whatever. Yeah, you know that you know what I mean. I really just want to have someone I can always go to, someone I know I'll always have with me, someone I can trust more than anyone else, someone I can be completely myself around, someone who will always love me, someone I can just have a good time with, even if we aren't doing anything, someone I can just be with and be completely happy ("I'm just happy. I don't think I've ever felt that before."). That's not my whole list, but I think it's enough at the moment. And Katie feels the same way. The kinda funny part is, neither of us have ever had a boyfriend. Our counselor at camp was really surprised to hear that we're so ready to get married. She said that she wasn't ready to until she was going out with the man who became her husband. And here we are, never having had a boyfriend and totally ready for it. Haha, and then there was Kara's answer. We asked her if she was excited to get married, and she said, "Umm... terrified is more the word that comes to mind for me!" I don't know. I just really want to get married. I know I am going to bawl when I go to Stephen and Joy's wedding (ten days!!!), and then Jeremy and Pam's wedding in September. And the main reason would probably be because I just want that to be me.

The same thing happens when I'm watching a movie or tv or something and a woman becomes a mother. It probably seems pathetic, but I seriously tear up, because I want that so badly and it just like touches me. I just want to have kids and be a mom. I love kids. I am so ready to have my own family. Kelly is my friend who I really look up to. She's like ten years older than me; actually, I don't think even that many. But maybe. I don't remember for sure. So yeah, she is my youth group leader person, but before that, she is a mom. She loves her kids so much, and they are her main priority. Her kids are some of my favorite ever, I'm seriously going to steal them eventually. Well, no, I wouldn't. But I want to be like her. I guess I'd have to say she is one of my biggest role models.

Anyway. I am exhausted, since I'm sick, so I really need to stop writing and go to bed. Haha, I hope that wasn't horribly long and boring and pointless to everyone except for me. I'll feel special if you read it. Okay, later, guys.